tired

the list of things to do around here before the graduation festivities is incredible. It would not be so bad if some people would help me and stop telling me i am dumb for wanting to do any of it. I managed to scrub the porches and the deck - just in time for rain - delaying the painting of the porches. I cleaned the driveway and the garage door, and the retaining wall. I'll need to paint that too.

Kaiti said she'd be home by 10 on Friday. At 11:43 I tried to reach her. No answer at Mark's or on her cell. Scott got mad that I freaked out and wanted to go look for her. We went anyway. Finally reached her a little after 12. Her cell was dead, and Mark's stepbrother was ignoring the call waiting. Nice. I know I am a worrier - but I don' t think I was being unreasonable. Lafayette is a dangerous road and there was an accident last week.

I applied for a job at Ikea this week. I think it will be fun if they hire me. I also am considering helping to write test questions for 2 weeks in PW for 25 bucks an hour. I guess it won't matter how much I make, or how much I spend or don't spend - Somebody (S) will bitch about money. I try to buy the cheapest of everything. We really are just building major resentments. I don't know if we'll make it. Some days things are fine. Some days they are shit. No major highs or great times. The big D is a tough choice and the reality is we are too connected with debts and money.

I think selling the house and moving to a townhouse will improve things. This house and yard are too much for us to keep up with. Neither of us is very energetic to keep up the yard, and neither of us finishes projects. I looked and found some decent townhouses around here. Fenced yard, deck, basement-den, lr, dr, 3 br, 2.5 baths - a little space to do some yard work, but not overwhelming. I know I think about doing this every so often, and I get melancholy about leaving this house. Oh well.