Opiates

"...had a happy thought. Into the bowl in which their wine was mixed, she slipped a drug that had the power of robbing grief and anger of their sting and banishing all painful memories. No one who swallowed this dissolved in their wine could shed a single tear that day, even for the death of his mother or father, or if they put his brother or his own son to the sword and he were there to see it done..."


That is from Homer's Odyssey, one of the earliest pieces of literature in which there is a reference to opium. When I think of opium or opiates I think of things that people do to escape reality, to "feel good." Or maybe feel less bad. All this thinking was spurred on while wandering alone through the Trump Taj Mahal casino yesterday. I kept thinking of addictions, especially gambling addictions.

It was kind of a test for me, as some people, even me, thought that perhaps the casino would be dangerous for me and I would become addicted to gambling or something. I actually became quite disillusioned and bored very quickly. I can take it or leave it. I was amazed at the people in there sitting for hours mindlessly (or maybe not) pushing buttons (no more pulling the arm) on slot machines. What relief of life's pain is gained by gambling? I think it may be the feeling, however fleeting, of hope that comes before the dials stop turning.

I played Roulette, and it was fun. Except that it was very expensive, and I think may be rigged. I played the slots and mostly just lost a bunch of money without any real fun. Where do those people get all this money to just throw away?? Hundred dollar bills flashing across the tables, huge stacks of chips....I guess I don't have anything to worry about as far as becoming addicted to gambling. Thankfully, I do have a tightwad side to me, which I am sure rubbed off from Scott.

On the long bus ride home....and it was long....and filled with raucous laughter of the over 70 crowd and lots of loud snoring. (I do NOT snore - but the lady two rows back does- mouth open, drooling kind of snoring) I did a lot of thinking about addictions. How do people get addicted to gambling? Or, anything? And, what is an addiction, really? I often use the phrase, "i'm addicted to...." fill in with the latest thing....but I don't think they are real addicitions.

Once upon a time I was labeled a food addict. Considering that food is a requirement for sustaining life, I don't think one can be addicted to it itself. I am addicted to OVEReating - which is eating when not hungry and or eating too much. I am getting better about that, but I do love food. (Who doesn't?).

I do have what I call phases. Phases in which a certain food and or drink or even activity are very prominent in my life. They eventually wear out, then only return for sentimental appearances. Here is a list of my current and past phases of addiction/obsession.

Current:
Stacy's Pita Chips - naked or parmesan garlic. FAB U LOUS!!!!
Vitamin Water - the Revive flavor is the best
Chardonnay - Yellow Tail Reserve
Curry - my chicken red curry specifically
Naval oranges - I even eat the peel (not the orange part of it)
(all of these are in my weekly repertoire)

My current list is much better than my past one.

Ben and Jerry's was a big one. Now, I can't have more than one spoon of it. Also certain flavors came and went as obsessions with Cherry Garcia always topping the list.
Little Debbie I am ashamed of this one - there are no redeeming qualities in them.
Happy Meals Rarely made me happy, although ordering one always gave a thrill.
Pepperidge Farm Milanos still good - but I don't eat the whole bag in one sitting anymore, and rarely have them at all.
Chips and Dip
Hershey Bars - eaten one square at at time

All that being said, I still haven't solved my need for opiates. Opiates defined as things that bring a feeling of escape and hope, however fleeting. I wish I could substitute yoga or something for the various comforts I turn to daily. For now, I'll try to make them less unhealthy.