Diet log: day one

1 cup of coffee with splenda (and a dash of half and half)
not changing my coffee habits yet - although I did get the "skinny" latte at SB yesterday.

I hate dieting. Its a very complicated issue for me. I've done Weight Watchers about 17 times in my life. I think I lost a total combined weight of .6 lbs. I've done pills, curves, the gym, home plans, book diets (Dr. Atkins, Dr. Phil, Oprah, The Zone) and others I can't remember. All of them combined with other factors then led me to a whopping over 300 pound tub of lard, stretch marks, and arteries that were giving out before I was 40. There are other joys of being a tub of lard such as hygeine and breathing and sleep apnea and sex...oh and infertility thank you PCOS. So I was motivated, but after a year (documented of WW + Curves) I had lost 11 pounds!

So....I had a gastric bypass.

That was 3 years ago. I reached all the goals I wanted to with the surgery. Perhaps I'll write about the surgery another time because it is indeed a fascinating story. All I was after was good health and to buy clothes in a normal store. It had reached the point that I had to order clothes online or choose from 2 stores in my town. The famed Omar the Tent Maker (I think someday I'll really have a store called that) and Lane Bryant. So, I couldn't even just have a normal pair of levis and a t-shirt. That is my preferred wardrobe. Well, now I can wear those things, but I have realized that I am slipping into my old ways.
[oh, and there is this nasty business of a wedding coming up and I have to put this dress on again, and I am worried...so before I even try it....]

I don't binge anymore. I don't crave ice cream and chips and dip. I just have a way of finding the most calorie rich foods that will fit in my stomach pouch. I mean well - on my road trip (another story I'll get to) from which I returned yesterday...I had a fast food lunch. Instead of a kids meal which makes me sometimes vomit (fun!) and always feel crappy...I had the chicken salad wrap at Arbys. It had whole wheat wrap, chicken breast, apples and pecans and lettuce. And grapes! It was delishhhhhhhussss. I could only eat 1/2 and that is after taking off a bunch of the wrap part. I called the hubs to tell him I was embarking on a healthy eating plan and was proud of myself. And, the wonderful hubs (jerk!) looked up the nutrition facts for me. Let's just say it ain't really healthy considering I could have just had the Arby's beef and cheddar for less. Oh well.

I do have my addictions: pita chips, vitamin water, wine, and cookies. I like to nibble. Oh, and crackers (Triscuit Rosemary and Olive Oil!).

So, today I am going to be more conscious. I bought a ton of organic veggies at the new Wegmans!! And I am going to make that great Weight Watchers cabbage soup, a yummy salad of my own with pecans (just a couple) and forego the wine. I'm having light yogurt with my own blueberries in a little while.

I pondered doing a "cleanse" like other bloggers, but I don't have the stamina for that. Nor the iron count (a side effect of the GB is anemia). And, alas I am not naturally thin and gorgeous like that other Obama fan blogger that I love. And, is it just me, or is Oprah fat again?


Oh, and I'm also going on a bike ride and vigorously clean the hell hole litter box I live in. That stuff plus work on my school work (yet another topic because I am soooo retarded I think I am smart) and get my cell phone fixed because it died! Oh, and I was reminded that the fancy gym membership I have is not being utilized, so I may have to visit the Starship again soon. (the trainers wear outfits that look like ST Voyager uniforms!)

Ciao!